The Mission Series
by Fat Puppy
Summary: It was a long and boring mission…starring Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi. The pair endure a mission they'd rather forget...if it ever ends.
1. Day One: Settling In

**The Mission Series**

**It was a long and boring mission…starring Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi. The pair endure a mission they'd rather forget...if it ever ends.**

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**Authors Note:**

**I wrote this story back in 2007 (as Obi the Kid). I recently re-discovered it and made a few minor edits and decided to delete the old and re-post the new, in hopes of adding some new chapters soon. If anyone out there still remembers this one, thanks for reading!**

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**The Mission Series - Day One: Settling In**

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"Galos. It's a beautiful planet, Master. The mountains in the distance are spectacular. I'm pleased that the Council finally gave us a mission that we might consider easy, and in such a location too. I'll have to remember to thank Master Windu."

Obi-Wan Kenobi stood on the balcony of the spacious suite that he and Qui-Gon had been presented upon their arrival. They'd just come from their first meeting with Governor Palto and Mayor Surratto, both men seemed willing and eager to finally work to settle the planet's long fought political battles between the two major parties. Both Jedi felt good about the mission. Excited to be able to help make a difference after their more recent missions in which only failure had prevailed.

"Don't thank him just yet, my young Padawan." Qui-Gon Jinn said as he came to stand next to his student. "I agree this looks to be a simple enough mission. But looks can be deceiving. Certainly is a beautiful view though. I suspect we'll be taking great advantage of the balcony while we are here."

"Do you think Palto and Surratto are as willing as they appear regarding negotiations? They seem awfully enthusiastic about having Jedi on their planet. Too much so almost. And I do hope they don't ask us to use the Force to do tricks. The last time that happened, was it two years ago? I felt like a circus performer from Pellos 3."

"Yes, the sight of you playing with the Force to lift livestock animals off the ground as quite ah…pathetic. Why did you agree to do it?"

"I was young and stupid?" Obi-Wan smirked.

"And you're older and wiser now?"

"I hope so. Haven't you ever used the Force to appease political types?"

"Well…"

The hesitation made Obi-Wan laugh. "So then you can't criticize me for it."

"I am your master. I can criticize anything I choose. Remember that." He winked at the boy before the door chime got their attention. They walked inside and pressed the lock code to slide the door open. A tall, extremely thin blue-skinned being held out a tray of food for them and spoke with a formal yet friendly voice.

"From Governor Palto. Please accept these refreshments and delicacies of our planet. Everything here is home grown. He hopes you enjoy."

Qui-Gon took the tray, thanked the tall creature and closed the door. Before he could even set the tray down, Obi-Wan was grabbing at the food.

"Patience, Obi-Wan. You act as if you haven't eaten in a week." He placed the tray in the kitchen.

"It looks good, Master." The young Jedi picked up a small cake covered with bright red berries. It did look tasty. He took a bite. And...then he spit it out. "Blech! Gah! That's horrible. Tastes like Master Yoda's stewed mush. Only worse."

"I told you that looks can be deceiving. So, I'll avoid the red berry cake thing. How about this purple fruit? At least I think it's a fruit." Qui-Gon held it out to his apprentice. "Try it."

"Oh no. You try it first. I've already been the guinea pig."

"You brought that on yourself." Qui-Gon took a bite of the soft purple skin, made several odd faces as he was chewing then turned and fled into the bathroom.

Obi-Wan yelled to him as he ran. "Not too tasty is it, Master?"

When Qui-Gon emerged several minutes later, he was not pleased to see the smug look on the face of his learner. "Don't say anything. I mean it. We've got to find some different food. Or hope that this mission doesn't go any longer than a couple of days."

"This juice is good," the boy was steadily gulping down a large glass of a bright pink liquid. "Smells like bantha droppings, but tastes like a pala sweet cake from home. Just hold your nose when you drink it."

The master Jedi leaned in to smell the liquid and jerked his head away immediately. "That's horrid, Obi-Wan. How can you drink that?"

"Hold your nose. Trust me. You'll like it."

Taking a chance, Qui-Gon held the glass in one hand and his nose with the other. He was pleasantly surprised. "Hmm…very good. We'll need more of that. It could become quite addictive. I'll need to make a call to...oh we didn't get that person's name. We will need to sample a few food items to figure out what will actually be edible for us here."

"Master, there's a data reader here with a comm number for the Governor's aide. Maybe that's who that skinny thing was that brought the food."

"He was rather slim, wasn't he?"

"Legs the diameter of Yoda's gimmer stick. How do you know it's a him?"

"Guessing. It sounded like a male."

"Yes, but Mayor Surratto is most obviously a male and he sounds like a woman."

"Only when he was disagreeing with Palto and raised his voice. Come to think of it, we were in their presence for only ten minutes, but they seemed to disagree a lot in that short time. Perhaps this might be a bit more difficult than we've imagined, Obi-Wan."

Taking another glass of the pink juice, Obi-Wan took a seat on the couch in the main room. "They're fighting over pettiness, Master. How bad can this be? I mean, how long can something like this really take?"

Qui-Gon took a seat next to the boy. "I'm not certain, but I am beginning to get a bad feeling that we'll need more than this fruit juice to get us through this mission. We shall see, Obi-Wan."

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…**the beginning of the mission; the end…of this chapter…**


	2. Day Eight: Sexy Beast

**The Mission Series - Day Eight: Sexy Beast**

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The short, round man with the squatty legs stood and called an end to the negotiation meetings…for lunch break. A collective sigh was heard around the large room as the gray-skinned Governor Pregas Palto raised his three arms and announced that food would be served in the dining hall if any of the participants chose to enjoy the free meal.

Qui-Gon Jinn whispered to his apprentice that he had an errand to run and would return shortly. He hurried out of the room, fully aware of the fluttering eyes that followed him until he reached the door.

Those eyes belonged to a middle-aged woman who'd been not so subtly flirting with the master Jedi since their arrival on Galos. She was similar in appearance to Palto, but her skin was a dark blue and her eerie yellow eyes dominated her face. After watching Jinn leave, she wandered over to his apprentice who stood quietly while observing the parties as they departed the conference hall for lunch. Obi-Wan Kenobi felt her presence behind him before he actually saw her. He turned and bowed.

"Knight Kenobi, you will be dining alone this afternoon?"

"Yes, Madam, I will."

"Where did that sexy beast of a master of yours go?"

Obi-Wan's eyebrows went up and he immediately pinned his lips together, momentarily shocked and at a loss for words.

"He is a fine specimen of a man. Whew! Where did he run off to?"

"He had an errand to handle. He'll will return after lunch."

The woman was fanning her face now with two of her four hands as she continued. Looking up at Obi-Wan she said, "There are some incredible beings in this galaxy but he is just a sexy beast! Never in my life have a seen anything like him."

Using all of his will not to burst into a laughing fit, Obi-Wan felt his eyes beginning to tear up. He took several deep breaths to try and quell the urge explode into hysterics. The woman continued. He didn't know how long he could contain his emotions.

"Do you see how he walks? That robe flowing out like that, the bounce he has in his step…that strut he does. And that hair. I'd like to run my fingers through that all night long. I can only dream of what that strong chest looks like under all of those tunics. I bet my man is RIPPED! My oh my! Is it hot in here?"

Obi-Wan kept his mouth pinned shut and shrugged, blinking rapidly to stop the tears of laughter threatening to betray his face. It was an impossible situation and he couldn't last much longer.

"Don't you think he's a sexy beast?"

"He's my teacher. I prefer to see him as my ah…teacher."

"Is he married? He has to be married. Something that fine…mmph! Whew!"

"No, he's not married. Jedi do not marry nor do we form those types of attachments."

"Shame. I would swipe him up like gravy. Mmm! Mmm! But no attachments, so you just kiss and run, huh? I'd be okay with that."

The boy tried desperately not to roll his eyes. This was not a conversation he should be having about anyone, much less his master and teacher. "No. No attachments. Not even uh temporary ones. Sorry."

The woman was stunned, her yellow eyes became huge moon-like orbs. "You mean, he's a…he…he doesn't…he's never…he can't…oh, this has to change. You mean a hunk of flesh like that man can never…oh my! Then his whole game is just a tease. How cruel. Well, if he could marry, I'd claim him in a heartbeat. I'd lay myself on his chest and listen to that sexy heartbeat as he..."

"Okay, yes, well. I'm sorry," he panicked, quickly attempting to divert the direction of the conversation. Then, noticing the silver band around her wrist, Obi-Wan asked the most obvious question. "That is a wedding band, is it not, Madam? You are already married?"

She glanced at the shining metal, "Sure is and yes I am. Doesn't matter. On Galos, many men and women marry more than one at a time. Keeps things from getting boring. We wear a band for each commitment we have. Currently though I'm only married to one man. My beloved Pregas Palto."

The drink that Obi-Wan had just lifted to his lips came spurting out of his mouth, just missing the female target in front of him. "You're married to the Governor?"

"I sure am. But I'm not done with your master yet. Jedi or not, I'd like to have a few moments with him. That's all it would take. Sexy Beast! Whew! My oh, my. It's been good talking to you, Knight Kenobi. I'm sure we'll see each other again." With a wink and seductive smile, she floated away leaving Obi-Wan to wipe at the tears of laughter that were finally forcing their way through his unsuccessful façade. He had to find Qui-Gon. And he had to find him soon.

A few moments later, he noticed him talking to the Governor's aide, the tall, slim blue-skinned being named Maltos. Qui-Gon excused himself upon Obi-Wan's approach as he sipped the beverage that Maltos has offered him. Noticing the boy's glassy eyes and silly grin, he could only imagine the type of news the boy was bringing.

Obi-Wan looked around to make sure they were out of listening range to any others before he spoke. "Master, did you know you were a sexy beast?"

Qui-Gon straightened himself. "What?"

"That short, round blue woman in there with the creepy yellow eyes? She's got it bad. She's sort of uh…lusting after you. She thinks you're a sexy beast and that you're a fine specimen of a man." All it took was for Obi-Wan to hear himself saying those words and he lost it. The laughs came and they came out loudly, so happy to be able to release his pent up silliness. "Oh and that's not all. It gets better. She's married, but evidently people on this planet have no qualms about having more than one spouse at a time. She's only married to one person right now though. Governor Palto."

Qui-Gon had picked the wrong time to take a drink. The liquid flew outwards, landing directly on Obi-Wan's tunic, turning it a lovely shade of purple. "Obi-Wan so help me…"

"I should have warned you not to drink. Master I am not making this up. I'm not that talented a story teller. She's got it for you. Really bad. She wants a couple minutes alone with you." He giggled. "I told her that Jedi are not allowed attachments, but that didn't seem to phase her. All she wants is her sexy beast."

The tall master leaned down towards his apprentice, "Please stop saying that. I am not a sexy beast."

"Yes, I know that, Master. But she was almost drooling as she spoke of you. It was hysterically disgusting."

"I need to avoid being cornered by her. Don't leave my side for the rest of the day."

"Master…"

"I mean it, Obi-Wan. While their customs here are obviously very…casual…if Palto finds out about this, it could damage our relationship and our mission."

"I'm under the impression that it could help things somewhat. Perhaps you should…"

"NO! I am not going to be anyone's sexy beast. Nor will I pretend to be just to help move negotiations along."

"But, Master," Obi-Wan leaned as close as he could, whispering low. "You have heard these people talk? And what they say? They say nothing. They just babble during their speeches. It's no wonder they never agree. They don't make any sense. How can you agree to nonsense? This mission might go on forever unless we can help push things along."

Qui-Gon came to Obi-Wan's level and locked gazes with him. "Not in this lifetime. You can be her sexy beast if you like, but I am not getting involved."

"I'm only seventeen. Too young to be a sexy anything."

"Oh you are? The Governor's two daughters don't seem to think so. And you're almost eighteen."

"Master!"

"I've seen them looking at you. Watch your back, Padawan. And keep Yellow Eyes away from me. Come now, lunch is over. We need to get back."

The pair strolled together into the meeting hall, sat down and tried not to look in any direction in which lust-hungry eyes loomed.

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…**the end…of this chapter…**


	3. Day Fifteen: It's Not Easy Being Green

**The Mission Series - Day Fifteen: It's Not Easy Being Green**

They'd eaten over an hour ago during the daily break for lunch and Qui-Gon was actually surprised that there seemed to be a bit of progress being made in the meetings. For the first time in two weeks he found himself encouraged about something.

Mayor Algris Surratto currently had the floor. He was a tall man. Stocky. His green eyes clashed against his dark brown skin and black hair. Kept calm, he seemed an apt politician. Aggravated, his voice raised several octaves and became a shrill and irritating sound. Thankfully, things were relaxed at the moment.

That moment ended and Qui-Gon immediately noticed the beginnings of change in the man's voice. The green eyes focused just to the right of the Jedi Master.

Obi-Wan sat quietly, head tilted forward, eyes closed. To the causal observer, the padawan might have seemed to be asleep. Qui-Gon knew that Surratto was working on that assumption and had become irritated because of it. The big Jedi could feel what his apprentice was feeling however and knew the boy wasn't sleeping.

Eventually, Obi-Wan felt the eyes of the room falling on him and pulled his head up. His face had turned a pale shade of green and sweat had dampened his short hair. He spoke slowly to his master beside him. "Master, I don't feel very well."

"Yes, I can see that. One more shade of green, and you'll look just like Yoda. You're going to be sick aren't you?"

Obi-Wan nodded and simply said, "Yes. And soon. The room is beginning to spin. No, that's wrong. It's been spinning for a while. It's just going faster now. Please make it stop."

Grabbing his arm and attempting to help him stand, Qui-Gon called an end to the meetings for the day. "Mayor, Governor, I apologize. My apprentice is taking ill. He could be having a reaction to something he ate for lunch. I need to get him…"

Too late. Obi-Wan's lunch excited his stomach in a most disgusting fashion, just missing Surratto who had come to stand before him. The carpet and his own tunics were not so fortunate. Obi-Wan groaned once, held his stomach and vomited again. The mayor jumped back, made some sort of screaming noise that sounded like a woman in distress and then backed away.

"Come on, Obi-Wan, lets move before you lose a lung." Qui-Gon put an arm around the padawan's waist and maneuvered him past several chairs. Maltos, the governor's aide, appeared from nowhere and took Obi-Wan's other arm. Together they hurried him to the bathroom down the hall, but not before Obi-Wan had retched again. "Obi-Wan are you trying to leave a trail so you can find your way back?"

"Sorry…" was the only reply the boy could offer as his stomach contracted again.

The bathroom was deserted and Qui-Gon positioned Obi-Wan's head over the commode as he continued to be sick. Maltos stood back, wishing to help, but unsure of what do to. "Master Jinn, what can I offer you?"

Qui-Gon was knelt next to his apprentice and he looked up at the slim being standing over them. "If you could call our transport. I'd like to get him back to our suite. And also find out from the café what exactly was in the food they served today. This could be food poisoning or perhaps an allergic reaction. Is there a doctor or healer available?"

"I will have one meet you in your suite as soon as you arrive. Your transport is already awaiting you. Can I assist with moving him to the transport?"

"Yes, thank you."

When it seemed that Obi-Wan's stomach was finally empty, they stood him up and rushed for the transport. Obi-Wan's tunics, pants and cloak were a mess. When they arrived at their suite, Qui-Gon didn't let his shaky apprentice stop at the couch. He continued him towards the bathroom. He sat Obi-Wan on the side of the extra large tub as he ran the water warm.

"Obi-Wan, how do you feel?"

"Master, do you know how you feel after spending an hour being lectured by the Council?"

"Oh. That's bad."

"Imagine spending an entire day with them. This is worse than being run over by a herd of bantha-riding trolls."

Qui-Gon paused for a moment. "What an odd image. One that I really don't care to think about." Then he stripped the apprentice of his foul smelling clothes and helped him into the warm water. "You look like hell."

"Thank you. I feel like hell. I've never been in a bathroom that spins so fast."

"It's your head that's spinning. Not the room."

Obi-Wan leaned his head back against the cool surface of the tub and closed his eyes. He spoke quietly as Qui-Gon bathed his face with a soapy cloth. "What was in that food? It tasted okay. The most edible thing I've had in the two weeks we've been here. And it was the first thing I've eaten that didn't smell like swamp water. Maybe I should have taken that as a bad sign."

"Perhaps. I do hope this isn't your way of trying to get out of these meetings." Qui-Gon smiled. "Death by food poisoning is a little dramatic, don't you think?"

A slight laugh escaped the boy's lips, followed closely by an "uh oh."

"Not again! Don't throw up in the tub, Obi-Wan, hold one second." Jinn quickly grabbed the bin he'd found in the kitchen on their way in, and pulled Obi-Wan by the shoulder so that he was leaning over the side of the tub.

"Ouch. That one hurt. I didn't think I had anything else to come up."

"You don't. Look, bile."

"Master! I don't want to look at it!"

"Oh right. Sorry. Why didn't you tell me you were feeling sick? We could have prevented leaving a trail of vomit all over the main floor of the building. I'm certain they won't be pleased trying to get those stains out of the carpet."

"I was trying to quell the problem on my own. It didn't seem all that bad. And then before I knew it...done. And lunch was served for a second time. Not as appetizing this time around though."

A chime sounded at the door. "That must be the doctor. Don't move."

"Master, I need my clothes."

"Obi-Wan, he's a doctor. He's seen it all before. And you're covered by bubbles anyway. Do not move from that tub."

"Master!"

Not long after, Qui-Gon returned, flanked by an old, hobbling, pale green-skinned man who walked with a hunched back and a cane supporting his right side. Obi-Wan tried to shake the dizziness as he watched the man and thought he looked to be over a hundred standard years. He made Yoda look like a young swamp pup. Nevertheless, the boy hurried to make sure the bubbles were correctly placed in the water.

"Obi-Wan, this is Doctor Mayo."

The man corrected him. "That's May-O. Obi-Wan, it's nice to meet you. Slightly difficult to conduct an examination in the tub however. Would you like to step out?"

"Not unless the bubbles can come with me."

"Excuse me?"

"Could I get dressed first, Sir?"

"Oh, of course. Please go ahead." The doctor made no move to leave the bathroom.

"Could you please leave the room, Sir?"

"No, I will have to examine you first."

"Yes, but I'd like to get dressed before you do that."

"Yes, you've said so. Please do." Still he did not attempt to leave.

Obi-Wan glanced at his master. Even through his weary eyes, he could see Qui-Gon was enjoying this exchange far too much. "Doctor Mayo…"

"May-O."

"Okay. Vowels and consonants are really not all that important right now are they? I would like to get dressed without an audience. Could you please wait in the main room and I will be there momentarily?"

"Oh, I am sorry. Certainly. I will wait outside then." Finally he left the bathroom.

"Master, that was not funny. How old is that man? Did he not understand what I meant by get out? Or did he just not hear me? That was a hearing assistance device in his ear, wasn't it? Are you sure he's a qualified doctor? And why does he have to be green?"

A smirking Qui-Gon helped Obi-Wan from the tub, wrapping a towel around him and sitting him on a nearby chair, when his legs became unsteady. "Funny or not, I was enjoying myself. You're quite entertaining when you're embarrassed, Padawan."

"Yeah, well I still feel horrible and am not comforted by the fact that a man older than Yoda is the only available doctor around here."

"He's old and you're green. You both are somewhat troll-like. You are…very green. Oh no, not again, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon got the bin to his student just in time.

"Master…"

The older Jedi helped the boy sit up once again and to finish dressing. "Let's get the doctor to look at you so we can figure out what's going on. You're starting to look like death warmed over." He put a hand on the flushed face and forehead. "You're starting to feel like it too."

Obi-Wan was quiet during the exam. Several blood samples were taken and some other simple tests were run. The doctor was uncertain of exactly what was going on, but took his best guess. "Food poisoning would probably not have been limited to just you, so I'm more inclined to think it's an allergic reaction to the food. My best advice, stay away from the food."

"You think so, Mr. Obvious?" Obi-Wan was beyond being patient as the room began to spin again. He was on the verge of becoming a smart mouthed ambassador with this man in front of him. "Perhaps you should have studied to become a rocket scientist rather than a doctor."

Qui-Gon slapped a hand over the young mouth and addressed the doctor. "Doctor Mayo…is..."

"May-O."

Pushing the hand away from his face, Obi-Wan tried to continue. "And that's another thing, Doctor May-O…"

The hand returned, followed by a deep glare. Qui-Gon took over the conversation. "Doctor, once we find out what food he reacted to, it will not be a problem to keep him away from it, but for the moment, what do you suggest I do for him?"

"He needs fluids. But I don't know if he can keep them down. Wait an hour. If he's not vomited in that time, start with liquids. If he handles that, move on to a gentle soup. Cool cloths for his fever. Bed rest. He should not attend the negotiations tomorrow."

Obi-Wan smiled around his master's hand.

"I will give you my comm number. If he gets worse, you can call me."

Once the doctor was gone, Obi-Wan curled his tired body into the couch with several blankets pulled to him. "Doctor May-O needs to retire. I could have told myself all of those same things. Although I do like the bed rest part."

"Don't sound so cocky, Padawan. We'll see how you feel tomorrow. And if you miss the meetings in person, you will watch them on the local holo-net. We cannot have an unprepared ambassador now can we?"

The boy pouted a look at his teacher and then drew a blanket over his head. "Why do I have feeling that this 'easy' mission is going to last until I'm thirty?"

"The faster you feel better, the shorter this mission will be."

"That's a lie, Master, and you know it." The muffled voice continued from under the blanket. "Master Yoda said three days. It's two weeks now and already you've gained a stalker woman who can't keep her eyes off of her sexy beast. The mayor of this city screams like a hysterical woman. The doctor is eight hundred years old. And now I'm allergic to the food needed to keep us alive!"

"Patience, Obi-Wan. We must have patience."

Obi-Wan threw the blanket off of his head. His face flushed green again. "Master…" But it was too late. By the time Qui-Gon turned his attention and grabbed the bin, the mess was made.

Qui-Gon sighed as he rested at the boy's side. "Perhaps you should just sleep in the tub tonight."

"Sorry." The young face was remorseful and beyond tired.

"I know." Offering his sympathy, Qui-Gon brushed a damp cloth across the padawan's forehead. "We just have to make the best of the situation and hope that your stomach settles before you start losing internal organs." He smiled and was glad when Obi-Wan returned it. They got up and began moving slowly to the bathroom.

"Master. Do I still look green?"

Qui-Gon sat him on the chair next to the tub. "Very. I've got the bin this time though," he said cheerfully.

And Obi-Wan's stomach rolled once more. He was really beginning to hate the color green.

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**The end…of this chapter…**


	4. Day Twenty-One: See Kenobi Run

**The Mission Series - Day Twenty-One: See Kenobi Run**

Obi-Wan cringed as his stomach began grabbing again. He flashed back to a week ago when he had suffered an allergic reaction to a certain food and vomited several times in front of the same political leaders that he sat with again today. Now his stomach was making similar noises…but the feelings were different. And to make matters worse, his colon was playing along. He was going to have to excuse himself for a few minutes. Soon.

Leaning towards Qui-Gon, the boy whispered, "Master, I need to make a quiet exit. I have uh…something I need to do. I won't be long."

Qui-Gon looked at him questioningly. "Obi-Wan, you can't leave right now. This tribe leader is only here for the afternoon. He's not able to make another meet…Obi-Wan!"

The younger Jedi could wait no longer. He hurried out of his seat and rushed from the room. Curious glances followed his fast moving form and then turned to the master Jedi for an answer. Governor Palto, sitting a few seats down finally asked, "Master Jinn, does your apprentice have something more important to attend to? It's extremely rude within our society for anyone to leave special sessions without announcing his intention."

"He means no disrespect, Governor. I'm sure there was a valid reason he departed so quickly. It's possible he may be reacting to something in the food again. He has been having difficulty getting his system to adjust to the variety of sustenance that your planet offers. I will speak with him when he returns. Please have Mr. Ballados continue his speech."

Moments later, Obi-Wan returned to his seat very aware of the eyes watching him. He bowed a quiet 'excuse me' and then directed his attention to the current speaker.

Qui-Gon, speaking in a low tone that only Obi-Wan could hear, spoke to the boy. "Obi-Wan, the Governor is accusing you of being rude. Why did you leave? What was so important?"

"I'm sorry, Master. I'm having a slight problem. It's fine. I won't eat the steak again though. It's causing some small ah, colon…oh no..." Before he could finish, he was up again and this time running from the room.

This pattern was repeated several times before Palto finally lost his patience. This was not a happy man. "Master Jinn! What is going on!?"

"I believe the food is indeed causing a problem, Governor."

"The food again? Why is it that you have no problem with the food, but your student continues to use that as an excuse?"

"With all due respect, Sir, this is no excuse. And I am having my own problems with the food. Although it's affecting me differently. I seem to be stuck at the moment as to what to do about it though. Yes, stuck, that is th correct term."

"So, last week it was an allergic reaction. This week it's what? Something that's causing him to run out of here every few minutes."

"Yes. To run. The food is causing a lot of running for him," Qui-Gon replied with a smirk.

The Governor was lost on the joke and was becoming more agitated by the moment. "Perhaps he should stay out of the meetings so that his running here and there does not interfere with the flow of the negotiations. Perhaps if we halted the meetings for him, he won't have to run back and forth."

"That won't help him, Governor. I believe that he will be running for a some time."

Obi-Wan returned again, trying to hide his eyes from the angry faces turned his way. "I'm am so very sorry, Governor, Mr. Ballados. I had to make another run. Please continue."

Qui-Gon bit the inside of his lip to keep from laughing. "Another run, huh?" he whispered.

"Master, it's not funny. And why are the bathrooms all the way at the end of the hall? Good thing I have my robe on and good thing that it's brown."

The big Jedi laughed out loud this time, drawing stares from everyone in the room. Palto was upset. "No more interruptions! No one leaves this room until Mr. Ballados has completed his speech. Understand?"

Obi-Wan's stomach groaned and his colon moaned. "I do, but I can't abide by that, Governor. Again, I am very sorry. Lunch did not sit well with me."

"Yes, yes, I know. The food." Palto almost spat out the words as he sat down gruffly. And Obi-Wan ran from the room again. "Master Jinn, when he returns, please have him go back to his suite. We cannot have these continued interruptions. We will move forward with you alone."

When Qui-Gon returned to their suite hours later, he found Obi-Wan sitting on a chair just outside the bathroom door. He couldn't help but laugh at the miserable young face peering up at him. "I suppose it's good that Palto kicked you out of the meetings. Why don't you just sit in the bathroom?"

"Master, please. This is not an enjoyable experience for me. I would appreciate it if you spared me the jokes. This whole food situation is beginning to get to me."

"I think it already has gotten to you, Padawan. You look pathetic."

"Thank you. Why is all of this happening to me? You've been fine. Why aren't you reacting to anything that you eat here?"

"I have been."

"How? I don't see anything coming out of either end of you, Master."

"That's disgusting, Obi-Wan. And…that's the problem."

It took the younger Jedi a moment before it registered what Qui-Gon was saying. "Oh. You mean…um…"

"Let's just say that while you are running the race, I am stuck at the starting line."

The padawan laughed, he just couldn't help himself after the day he'd had. And he continued laughing until Qui-Gon cut him off.

"Obi-Wan, it is not that funny. I'm beginning to think that I should see a doctor about this."

"Maybe you should call that doctor who saw me last week. You know, the one who is older than Yoda? Help you he can."

"I am not talking to that man about my inner…private issues."

"But he's old. I'm sure he's had your problem before. It happens a lot with older people." Obi-Wan's giggles were cut off by the sounds of his insides squirming again. He disappeared into the bathroom as fast as Qui-Gon had ever seen anyone move.

"Serves you right for smart mouthing your master!" Qui-Gon called out as the bathroom door slid shut.

When Obi-Wan returned he was not amused by his master's grinning face. "This is really getting old. There has to be something I can take to help this."

"We're eating the same foods, yet they are having the opposite effects. Interesting. We need to make a list of what foods don't cause a problem and just stick with those. Even if it does get monotonous eating the same thing meal after meal."

The door chime sounded. Qui-Gon glanced at the pathetic form of his apprentice attempting to sit without discomfort and took pity on him. "I'll get the door and then call the doctor and see what he can suggest to help you."

Maltos, the governor's aide, greeted him at the door. His long, blue, stick-like arms held out a tray of liquids and a small pill bottle. "For Apprentice Kenobi's problem. This will help."

Qui-Gon took the tray, looking surprised, and asked the tall man, "How did you know?"

Smiling, Maltos replied, "The politicians become so involved in their own words, they don't see or feel past themselves. I am observant to the needs of others. I could sense…a disturbance. Actually, I could smell it."

"Oh, I see." Qui-Gon was trying desperately not to laugh again. "I suppose that's why they put the bathrooms so far down the hall. Didn't help much this time though."

"No. Give him two pills to start and a glass of this jalas juice."

"Thank you. Obi-Wan will be most grateful."

"And perhaps you should make a list of what foods to avoid while you are here. If you would like, I can have the café prepare your food specially."

Qui-Gon nodded. "You read my mind, Maltos. That would be ideal. I will let you know our list of foods as soon as I get a chance to speak with Obi-Wan about it. At the moment, however, the last thing he wants to think about is food."

"Very well. You may comm me at any time. Good evening to you, Master Jinn."

He was gone. Qui-Gon took two pills, a glass of juice and presented them to Obi-Wan. "Take these. It'll help."

The pills were downed in seconds, as was the juice. "What about you, Master?"

"Perhaps I should request food with a lot of fiber."

"I have read that when you get older, a fiber supplement is a good idea." The boy's eyes twinkled.

"And I've read that padawans who get smart with their masters, end up working with trolls during cherished downtime when they'd rather be out visiting with friends or practicing for sparring tournaments."

"Perhaps I should learn to keep quiet then."

"You are wise, Obi-Wan. You learn quickly." Qui-Gon smiled, then reached a hand out to ruffle the boy's hair. "I am going to figure out what to order for dinner. Do you want anything?"

The young Jedi gave his master a ridiculous look. "You had to ask that, didn't you?"

"Okay, I will order only for me." He pulled the food list up on the computer in the main room. "Fiber. Something with fiber. Let's see…"

The next morning, Obi-Wan awoke feeling much improved, making it through the night with only minimal disruption from his stomach or colon. The pills seemed to be working their magic. He noticed the closed door to the bathroom and a slight odor coming from beyond it. The laugh started softly and then progressed to a higher volume. Then he knocked on the door. "Too much fiber last night, Master? I told you not to overdo it. You didn't listen to your wise padawan though, did you?"

A grumbling voice sounded from behind the closed door. "Shut up, Obi-Wan!"

"At least you're not stuck at the starting line anymore."

"You are not funny, Obi-Wan."

"You're in the running now, Master!"

"OBI-WAN KENOBI!"

"I told you that older people need fiber, but you took it to extremes, didn't you?"

"Obi-Wan, so help me when I get out of here…"

"You'd better hurry, Master. You know how upset the Governor gets when we're late to the meetings."

The voice lowered to a growl. "Obi-Wan, just get me some of those pills and juice before I begin plotting your death."

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan lost himself in giggles as he got the pills and began to wonder just what type of day this one would be. "Master, Governor Palto is going to be upset. He has no sympathy for our problems. And Mrs. Palto, what will she think of her sexy beast when she finds out that her fine specimen of a man isn't all that fine and sexy today?"

"OBI-WAN!"

* * *

…**the end…of this chapter…**


	5. Day Thirty-One: Hot Hot Hot!

**The Mission Series - Day Thirty-One: Hot Hot Hot!**

They were a month into the mission. There was no end in sight. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were doing what they could to make the best of it. At the very least the weather was ideal here on Galos. And most of their evenings were peacefully spent on the outside balcony of their suite resting themselves with meditation, study or easy conversation. A small cool breeze seemed a constant. To the Jedi, it was a nice change from the smoggy, often humid climate of Coruscant.

It was with all of this in mind that Obi-Wan noticed the sweat dripping down the side of his master's face as they sat in the meeting hall during the latest round of negotiations between Governor Palto, Mayor Surrato and the other representatives of Galos. Qui-Gon seemed completely calm, and Obi-Wan found it curious that the older Jedi was perspiring as he was. Moving his hand up to his temple to try and rub some of his intensifying headache away, Obi-Wan then noticed that he too was sweating. He cupped his hands around the cold drink on the table in front of him. It felt good against the sudden and rapidly increasing warmth of the large room.

Others in the room, did not seem the least bit affected. The windows were open. The sun was bright outside. But the cool breeze that usually flowed briskly thru those windows was now hot and sticky. The apprentice began to feel closed in. He shed his robe as the temperature continued to rise. Still no others were affected. Taking a quick moment to lean towards his master, Obi-Wan wiped the sweat from his eyes with the sleeve of his robe which now hung over the back of his chair.

"Master, did you notice the temperature in here?"

"It has gotten a bit warm, hasn't it?" He shrugged his robe off.

"Not warm. No. I'm begging to feel like I'm being roasted over a fire pit. It's hotter than a Sith's hell. And all within the past half hour. Why isn't anyone else feeling this? Surely the politicians can't be spewing out that much hot air. Can they?"

As the talks and the political hot air continued to cloud the talks yet again, the temperature continued to rise. Both Jedi were almost panting for breath now, caught between trying to fan themselves with their hands, using the Force to calm their quickly fraying patience and attempting to listen to what the supposed leaders of this planet were saying as the negotiations moved towards nowhere in particular.

Obi-Wan's hair was now completely wet. His tunic was soaked to the skin. His face glistened with warm sweat. Whispering to Qui-Gon once more, he said "Master, I can't concentrate in this heat. My head feels ready to explode."

The master nodded and stood up abruptly. Mayor Surrato, who had the floor at the time, took a step back, obviously unprepared for Qui-Gon's quick rise from the chair. "Master Jinn, do you object to something I've brought to the table?"

"No, Mayor. Actually I object to this heat. I am not certain why Obi-Wan and I seem to be the only ones suffering at the moment, but as you can see, our clothes are soaking wet from perspiring. I would like to call and end to these sessions for the day. Or at least until this heat clears out. This is all quite confusing to me. Perhaps you can explain what is happening, why it's so hot so suddenly."

Surrato was somewhat puzzled and none too happy with the interruption. "This is our planet. We have adapted to it. I believe you Jedi are able to adapt to sudden changes as well. We shall continue…now…"

Qui-Gon shook his head. "Then you'll have to continue without us I'm afraid.

We are unable to adapt so quickly to this type of sudden change in climate...this heat. It's difficult to breathe, or to even hold our heads up. We shall try again tomorrow. Please excuse us." And with that, he turned his back to the room, motioned for Obi-Wan to step with him, and they hurried out desperate to find cooler air.

It was something they were unable to locate.

Their suite was hotter than the meeting hall, if that was at all possible. Obi-Wan threw his robe onto the couch then quickly scanned the room for any sign of an air cooling device.

"You won't find what you're looking for, Obi-Wan. There is no room heating unit or cooling unit here. I don't think they have them anywhere. And we haven't needed them until now." Qui-Gon stripped off his outer tunic only to find his lighter inner tunic also drenched.

"These people are all crazy. They argue about nothing. They fight about nothing. And they don't have anyway to stay cool." As Obi-Wan's temper began to heat up, there was a chime at the door. Maltos, the governor's aid strolled into the room.

His thin blue frame completely unaffected by the scorching temperatures.

"Master Jinn. Knight Kenobi. I thought I'd come explain what it happening, since you seem most affected by our planet's current phenomenon."

"Phenomenon? Feels more like we've been transported to it's nearest sun."

Qui-Gon placed a hand on Obi-Wan's arm to try and cool his rising temper. The boy nodded instantly and withdrew a few steps away from Maltos.

"I certainly understand your concern, Knight Kenobi. More of the time our weather is as perfect at one can find in the galaxy. As noted by the absence of any conditioning devices that affect the temperature of the air. However every so often, large weather waves wrap around us and we experience either extreme heat or extreme cold. Do not worry much. It will not last longer than forty-eight hours. Then all will be normal. Until then, I'd recommend that you remain away from the meeting hall and the negotiations. You are aware of how much additional hot air comes from that area during the day." A sneaky smile floated across the being's mouth as he move his gaze between the two Jedi.

Nodding, Qui-Gon accepted the humor, knowing that Maltos was fully aware of their discomfort and was offering what he could to lighten the mood. "We appreciate you taking the time to explain this, Maltos. You've been more than helpful while we've been here. So, you're saying we just need to wait this out?"

"I am afraid so. A cold bath and cold drinks might help. But other than that, I am unable to offer any relief."

"I think…" Before Qui-Gon could finish his sentence, Obi-Wan had haul-tailed it out of the room in the direction of the bathroom. All the big Jedi heard before the bathroom door slid shut was "I've got dibs on the tub, Master!"

Obi-Wan was spent. He'd taken five cold showers. Had countless cold drinks and he was still on fire. He lay half sprawled on the couch, one leg and one arm hanging off the side. Clothed in a pair of short pants and a light, airy under-tunic, it was all he could do to keep from melting into a puddle on the carpet. A quick glance at Qui-Gon, he saw that his teacher was sitting on the floor, close to the freezer unit, his eyes closed, but he was not settled.

"Master, you should just get in the freezer unit. Go ahead. I'll let you out when this passes. At least one of us should be permitted to survive the next couple days so that we can then die the inevitable and painful death brought on by extreme boredom of this mission. Force I am HOT! I hate this. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it."

Blue eyes didn't open, but Qui-Gon spoke with an exhaustion in his voice that Obi-Wan had never heard before. "Obi-Wan, please. You sound like a four-year-old. If you stop thinking about the heat, you will not be so hot."

"Sure. And how has that been working for you, Master?"

Jinn opened his eyes and focused on his student. "It's not. But when you talk, you just expel more hot air."

"Maybe I should stop breathing too. No wait, that might actually happen soon if it doesn't cool off on this planet!"

Qui-Gon stood and walked towards the couch. "I am going to get a cold bath. You stay out here and study. You've been slack on your studies lately. Just because we are on a mission, and it's 800 degrees in here right now, does not mean you can neglect what your other teachers are instructing at the Temple. Perhaps you can study about the humidity levels of the swamps of Dagobah." The master darted from the room just in time to avoid the pillow that flew at his head.

"Not funny, Master. I don't want to think about anything heat related. And I especially don't want to think about trolls!"

A chime at the door. Obi-Wan rolled off the couch, landing with a thump on the floor. He debated for a long moment on whether or not to get up. But the chime continued. Whoever it was, was very persistent. "Okay, okay. I'm coming. I'm coming. Stop chiming!" The chiming continued until he slid the door open. "I said STOP CHIMING! Oh…"

Mrs. Palto, wife of the governor, stood on the other side of the door. Her entire short stumpy body seemed much too happy. She held out her four arms. "Knight Kenobi! I mean, Obi-Wan. Good to see you again. I understand you and that sexy master of yours are having trouble with the heat? I guess I was wrong when I said that Master Jinn couldn't get any hotter than he already was." She moved her head back and forth to see around the boy, then barged right past him into the room. "Where he is? I've been thinking about that man since this heat hit. Oh, have I been thinking about him. Whew. That fine fine man. Mmmph! Where is he?"

"Ah, he's ah…" he really didn't want to tell her, for fear of her reaction, but at this point, he needed any distraction from the heat. "He's in the tub."

The dark blue-skinned woman fluttered on her feet and fanned herself with three of her hands. "Oh, honey. You know how to put my heart a beatin' fast, don't you?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Okay."

"Will he be long? Oh, I should watch what I say, shouldn't I? You're just a youngin'. He's still not married, right? Oh, never mind me, I'm just all stirred up. Of course he didn't marry since I've seen you both last. Is he still ah…you know…"

The boy's face turned a brighter shade of red than the heat had already caused. "I really don't want to think about that, Mrs. Palto. Thank you. Can I get you a drink?"

"No, honey. You look exhausted. Don't you sleep much?"

A puzzled look shot over the padawan's face. "No, it's not that, it's just a bit hot right now. My body is not used to this type of change. Human's are not designed to handle such severe heat. This is not normal or comfortable. Is this normal?"

"Heat. Hot. Just like that master of yours. Mind if I sit while I wait for him?" She didn't wait for his approval. She just helped herself and grabbed a seat."

"Um, okay. No drink then, I guess?"

"I'd like to drink up that sexy beast of a master of yours, is what I'd like to do."

"Okay, no." Obi-Wan moved to the kitchen, needing to do anything to not hear what she was saying. "I'll get you that drink now. Okay? Good. Back soon."

A few minutes later, he came back to the living area just as Qui-Gon was coming from the bathroom. Obi-Wan lowered his head and let the drinks fall from his hands. "Oh crap." He saw what his master was wearing. Or what he wasn't wearing. A long pair of thin pants. And that was it. He was barefooted. Bare-chested. And his hair was pulled from it's tie so that it lay on his shoulders. _Oh, it's all over now._ He said to himself. _I'm…it's…oh, such a bad move, Master. A very very bad move._

Mrs. Palto…well, all Obi-Wan could think of was it was a good thing she was sitting down. Her bright yellow eyes found Qui-Gon's as soon as he entered the room and removed the towel from his head, after briefly drying his hair. Qui-Gon's immediate reaction, upon seeing her, was the same as Obi-Wan's. "Oh crap."

Mrs. Palto stood up as Qui-Gon walked toward her. It was too late for him to turn and run from the room to avoid her. He smiled gently and she nearly melted to the floor. "Oh, Master Jinn. You have no idea what you've just done to me. There truly is a romance God out there, isn't there? Because he brought you to me like…this. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my." Taking two of her hands, she let them walk up and down and around his chest when he stood too close. "Oh goodness. Sexy beast indeed. Me-ow! Oh my. Ripped, ripped, ripped, ripped, ripped! Would you look at that chest! Mmmph! Whew! Is he hot in here, or is it just me?"

Qui-Gon backed away and bowed, trying to keep his face from turning as red as a Sith blade. The same color Obi-Wan's face was at the moment. "It's good to see you again, Mrs. Palto. How can I help you?"

Kenobi's thoughts immediately went to himself again. _Master, don't ask her that. Of all the things to ask, don't ask that."_

Without hesitation, the blue woman responded. "You could do things for me that you can't even imagine, you fine fine fine spice of a man!"

"Perhaps you can tell me what you need quickly?"

_No, Master, another very bad choice of words._

"I really need to turn in soon and get some rest. So…"

"What I need? What I need and what you can give are two different things, since you are a Jedi. Such a shame though. I would love to show you what I need. Quickly."

_Put a shirt on, Master. Quickly. No, oh damn. Don't say that word. Hurry, Master. Shirt. On. Now. Before she tackles you and begins drooling and then…other things that I really don't need to be thinking about right now. Wait, too late. The drool started as soon as he walked out here. Here, I'll give throw you a lifeline._ "Master, your shirt is on the back of the chair next to the glass door." _Whew. Saved him._

"Ah, yes. Thank you, Obi-Wan. I should dress when have guests, shouldn't I?"

_Quick thinking, Master. Real quick. Put the shirt on now. Hurry. Please. Before she starts again._

"A shirt?" Mrs. Palto's eyes went huge, a mocking shocked expression on her chubby features. "No need for that. I'm sure that fabric is itchy when it's so hot. I'd be glad to scratch your back for you. Your front too, Mr. Sexy Beast."

_That's it. I need ear plugs. I can't hear this. Lalalalalala._

"No, it's not itchy. It might actually help cool me down a bit. I really should put it on." Qui-Gon reached for the shirt that she had now taken from the chair to hold for a moment. And to smell? She put her nose to the cloth and inhaled a deep breath. "Mrs. Palto…please…"

"Oh, that's good so mmmm…delightful. And no need to call me Mrs. Palto. My name is Yaddela. Please, call me that."

Obi-Wan, having just refilled the glasses that he'd dropped moments ago, and had taken a long cold taste, immediately spit the entire mouthful out upon hearing the name. _This just keeps getting worse. Don't laugh, Master. Please don't laugh. Just get the shirt from her, put it on and walk away. I really don't want to think about you and some woman named Yaddela together. I'll just get these horrid pictures of Master Yaddle in my head and I REALLY don't want that to happen. This is supposed to be a troll free mission!_

"Yadde…ah, Mrs. Palto. It really is customary for Jedi as ambassadors to refer to their hosts by their surname. I hope you do not mind." Qui-Gon was flustered, although he did manage to keep from laughing, to Obi-Wan's relief. He reached for the shirt.

"How about you and me move past the ambassador/host relationship and move into a more mmmm…intimate relationship?" Her yellow eyes winked and fluttered.

Qui-Gon grabbed the shirt from her and put it on. Her face immediately showed disappointment. "Perhaps you should go now, Mrs. Palto. Obi-Wan and I need our rest." He held a hand up towards her to stop her from saying what he knew was coming. "And yes, I need to rest alone. I do not require your company. Thank you."

Eyes fell to the floor, catching sight of the naked Jedi toes. "Have I told you how much I love toes? I could massage your feet for you in ways that would…"

"NO! Please! My toes are fine just the way they are. They don't need any additional attention." He began moving towards the door. "Let me see you out, I am certain that you are a busy woman and have appointments to attend."

"Yes, my precious Pregas is probably waiting for his full-body massage right about now."

_Oh, I do not want to think about that. Please go. Can I will you out the door? Would it be wrong to use the Force to physically push you out the door? Please leave. Please leave. Please leave. Please leave. Please leave._

Obi-Wan was very close to actually picking her up and tossing her out, when she finally stepped outside the door of the suite.

"Now remember, anytime you need to let that sexy bod of yours air out, you know where I live, sugar."

"Actually I do not and I have no need of knowing, thank you very much. Good night."

Qui-Gon slid the door shut as quickly as he could, his shoulders fell and he let out an enormous sigh. "That woman, Obi-Wan…She needs a hobby or something. I just don't know about her."

"She has a hobby, Master. You." The boy replied with a smirk. "Of course that still doesn't make things any cooler around here. You think this weather will break tomorrow? Maltos said it shouldn't last longer than forty-eight hours. Feels like it's been forty-eight days."

"Obi-Wan, it has been thirty-one days. On this plant that is. And I don't see an end anywhere in sight. All I see are politicians that scream like women in distress. Whacky weather that can melt a human body. Food that makes us stop, drop and run. And a hormone driven Governor's wife with four arms. I need a nap." He moved to the couch, flopped onto it, pulled his old paper novel from the table and tried to take his mind off the intense heat that threatened to melt his brain. "I suggest you grab a spot, try to calm your mind and body…and hope that tomorrow brings relief. Of course I'm referring to weather relief because we know that there will be no relief from the political squabbles in the near future. Just…relax."

Wiping the sweat away from his face, Obi-Wan let out a deep breath. It was at times like this when he wished he had Qui-Gon's ability to retreat into a book or other interest and lose himself for hours at a time. But all the padawan could think about at the moment was the just-ended encounter between his stoic teacher, Qui-Gon Jinn and his lady groupie, Yaddela Palto.

A snicker became a giggle. A giggle became a laugh. A laugh became Obi-Wan Kenobi falling into the reclining chair, holding his stomach in pain as the laughter completely took over. He locked gazes for a second with his master, who could only shake his head. Then Obi-Wan rolled right off the chair. Howling.

* * *

…**the end…of this chapter…**


	6. Day Sixty-Three: Calling in Sick

**The Mission Series - Day Sixty-Three: Calling in Sick**

On the balcony of his suite, Qui-Gon Jinn sat alone and quiet in a lounge overlooking the majestic mountains in the distance. The sun was just beginning to dip behind their large forms as another long day came to an end on the planet of Galos.

Another long day. Another very very long day.

Sixty three of them in a row to be precise. But who was counting? He was. And he had no doubt that Obi-Wan was doing the same.

The Jedi Master had shed his robe and outer tunic, letting his lose-fitting shirt that was usually hidden, hang over his belt. His boots had been kicked off moments after returning from another pointless day of watching bickering politicians argue about anything and nothing.

A cool breeze blew past, catching Qui-Gon's long, tassel-free hair and tossing it gently around his face. He sighed heavily. Something he found himself doing a lot recently. Even after spending many hours in deep mediation. This mission could not end soon enough. Unfortunately, it didn't look to be ending any time soon.

"Damn fools. They call themselves brilliant politicians. If they would only listen to themselves…"

He realized he'd begun talking to himself when a voice from behind surprised him.

"Master, I don't mean to interrupt while you carry on a conversation with yourself, but may I join you?"

Obi-Wan Kenobi, dressed in much the same way as Qui-Gon approached his master. Qui-Gon gave a short laugh under his breath.

"I didn't realize I was vocalizing my thoughts. Have a seat, Padawan. You look tired."

The boy, recently having turned eighteen, not five days ago, took a seat in the chair next to Qui-Gon.

"Not the best of ways to spend your birthday, isn't it?"

"Master, why are we here? How can these people settle anything if they don't shut up long enough to listen to others speak? And how many politicians can one city actually have? Today they seemed to be dropping in from the clouds. I'm beginning to wonder if there are actually any private citizens left in the city. Or if they're all politicians. I'm beginning to lose my grip with reality, Master. I can't take these people for much longer." He sat back and sighed.

"We've been sighing a lot recently. Have you noticed that?"

"I spend all day doing it. That and rolling my eyes. I've seen more cooperation between eeopies and banthas than I have between these five political parties."

"Five? I thought there were two?" Qui-Gon gave the younger Jedi a puzzled look.

"There were, but the politicians that had been agreeing with each other, decided that there was too much agreement. So one group split into three and the other group split into two. I think you were in the bathroom when that happened."

"It happened that quickly?"

"It's the only thing that's happened quickly since we've been here. How can such a beautiful city, such a beautiful planet be the home of such bickering and pettiness? It makes the senate look like a peace treaty signing."

Qui-Gon couldn't help but laugh at his apprentice. The pair seemed on the same wavelength at the moment. Parallel thoughts and feelings. "I spoke with the Council yesterday. Well, I spoke with Yoda. He's insistent that we remain here until the political landscape is at least somewhat stable. Honestly, I don't know why I bothered talking to him. That damn little troll hasn't been in the field ages."

"This was probably his doing." Obi-Wan said. "He's getting you back for when you called him that behind his back a few months ago. Remember when he walked in on you and Master Yao's conversation? Send you on a pointless mission I will. Long boring days you will have. Lose your sanity…you will." Obi-Wan found himself giggling at his own impersonation of Master Yoda.

"That was very good, Obi-Wan. Perhaps you can demonstrate that for the Council when we get home." The master winked at the younger Jedi as Obi-Wan took a deep breath, leaned back, closed his eyes, and continued to giggle under his breath.

Qui-Gon watched in awe at the darkening beauty of the skyline on the horizon. The sun's descent was almost complete. "At least the view is nice. As is our suite. Perhaps we should call in sick tomorrow, Obi-Wan."

Blue eyes opened and rolled to the left. "Master, you wouldn't."

"Would they really notice if we weren't there?"

"Only if they tried to get us to use the Force to lift something again."

"You shouldn't have done that. You know the Force was not meant to be used as a toy."

"True, but it did shut them up for about five minutes. I was tempted to lift both Governor Palto and Mayor Surratto out of their chair and dump them into the fountain pool."

"You and me both. This is quite possibly the most exhausting mission I've ever been a part of, and that includes that four month excursion through the forests and swamps of Bellessar while being hunted by natives and almost hanged for trespassing."

"We should go back there after this mission. A vacation." Obi-Wan chuckled again. He was quite content with amusing himself this evening.

"I'm tempted to send these politicians there. Probably wouldn't phase them though. They'd have all of the headhunting natives in need of soul healers after a few days of their babbling."

Qui-Gon sat up as the last light of the sun vanished into the purple and black star-filled sky of Galos. "We should probably get some sleep, Obi-Wan. We might actually have to talk or do something constructive tomorrow."

"Calling in sick is sounding like a better idea all the time, Master. Call it a mental health day. It wouldn't be too far from the truth."

"You tempt me, my Padawan. I am seriously beginning to consider it. For our own sanity of course."

"Maybe they'll stop trying to show off for us and actually talk to each other if we aren't there. This could be another skillful negotiating tool for us. You wouldn't even have to tie your hair back tomorrow or put on your boots. We could lounge here all day, take in the brilliant sun and enjoy our sanity…"

"And then dread the coming of the next day," the older Jedi finished. "We would have to stay in. No wandering the city just on the outside chance that they stop arguing long enough to actually pay attention to what's going on in their city."

"Works for me, Master."

"You do look slightly ill, Obi-Wan. Let me see…" Qui-Gon reached over and put a hand on the boy's forehead. "Yes. I feel the beginning of fever. And you have that awful cough as well."

Obi-Wan then put forth a very sorry excuse for a fake cough. "I feel horrible, Master."

"Yes you do. Although you need to work on your coughing skills. But look at you. Face is flushed. Eyes are red. Hands are trembling. I think I should make that call right now to Governor Palto's aide. Let him know we will not be attending the bickering sessions…I mean the negotiation meetings tomorrow." Stretching his long frame, Qui-Gon slowly lifted himself out of the chair. "Come along, my ill apprentice. We have a call to make. And no laughing over the comm while I'm talking."

"I am mush too sick to laugh, Master. I think I will take a warm bath to try and make myself feel better."

"Not too soon, Obi-Wan. You can't feel better until tomorrow evening."

"Oh, right. I'll just take the warm bath then, forget about making myself feel better."

The pair moved inside the suite and to the wall comm unit. Qui-Gon looked at his learner, catching the mischievous eyes…and smiled. "You're beginning to be a bad influence on me, Obi-Wan."

"Sixty-three days, Master. Maybe sixty-three more." A smirk crossed the young face. That certain grin that the boy was becoming famous for.

Qui-Gon shook his head and sighed…again. Then repeated the number of days as if it was a mantra. "Sixty-three days…sixty-three days…" His fingers moved over the comm unit, the aide to the Governor took the call.

"Governor Palto's Office."

"Good evening, Maltos. This is Master Jinn. Please inform the leaders for the meetings tomorrow that my apprentice and I will not be attending. Padawan Kenobi is not feeling well. We'll be staying in tomorrow to rest in preparation for the remainder of the week."

"Thank you, Master Jinn. I will relay the message. Please pass my best wishes onto your apprentice."

"I will do that. Thank you. Good night." A click ended the transmission.

"You lie well, Master. And politely too."

"Was it really a lie, Obi-Wan? This mission has made us ill in some way or another."

"So, we get to sleep in tomorrow." The boy was hopeful that his master didn't plan meditation in place of extra sleep.

"Yes, we do. Doesn't happen often, but when it does, we need to take advantage of it. Especially since we have no idea how much longer we will be stuck here."

"On that happy note, my warm bath calls. And then my bed calls. Goodnight, Master."

"Goodnight, Padawan. Rest well. Try not to think about what day sixty-five on this planet will mean. Think positive about day sixty-four instead."

Obi-Wan grinned and disappeared into the bathroom. Qui-Gon made a cup of hot tea and retreated to his bedroom. Retrieving one of his old beloved paper books from his travel bag, he flipped to the page where he'd left off.

Page sixty-three.

A roll of his eyes. A deep sigh. The he quickly lost himself in the story playing out on the crisp pages in his hand.

* * *

…**the end…of this chapter…**


	7. Day Seventy-Five: Nap Time

**The Mission Series - Day Seventy-Five: Nap Time**

The apprentice watched his master out of the corner of his eye. The man's head was slowly nodding forward and then being jerked upwards. His eyes struggling to stay open. Gently, he kicked at his boot under the table. At once Qui-Gon Jinn was awake and alert. But not for long. A moment later, his head began to bob again.

Obi-Wan kicked him again and whispered to him. "Master, wake up."

Alert again. "What? I'm here. What's going on?"

"You're sleeping, Master. During the meetings. Governor Palto is ending his speech again. For the third time. I think. I hope."

"I was not sleeping, Obi-Wan. I am a Jedi Master, I do not sleep during important meetings."

"I know, you were just resting your eyes. And your head. And your entire body was about to follow."

Qui-Gon's eyes began to slide shut again. His head leaned to the right, towards the apprentice, landing on his shoulder.

"Master!"

Head jerked up again. "Huh?"

"Master, I should excuse us from the meetings. You're not paying any mind to what they are saying."

"Let's be realistic, Obi-Wan, is anyone paying any mind to this?"

"That's not the point, Master. As boring as this is, we need to at least pretend that we're interested. That's hard to do when the lead negotiator is asleep! Master!" Obi-Wan's whispers became louder as Qui-Gon's head again fell onto his shoulder. The boy sighed and shook his head. Further efforts to wake his master without attracting attention were unsuccessful.

Palto concluded his latest speech, scanned the room for those who were in agreement with him until his gaze fell on the Jedi. Eyes of the entire room followed and within seconds, Obi-Wan and his dozing master were the center of attention.

The padawan had no choice but to lie his way through this one. "Governor, I apologize. Master Jinn has been feeling somewhat under the weather the last few days and has not been sleeping well. I believe it's finally caught up with him today. If you would excuse us for the remainder of the day. Please continue with your meetings. I will patch into them through the local holo-net channel so that we can stay updated."

"Very well, Knight Kenobi. However, I must note for the record that Master Jinn didn't not seem the least bit ill yesterday."

"No, he didn't appear so, but he's obviously not himself at this moment. Please excuse us. And continue."

Obi-Wan shook Qui-Gon awake and slowly escorted him from the large hall. He latched on to the older man's arm trying to keep him steady as they made their way outside and to their chauffeured transport which would take them back to their suite. Once inside the transport, Qui-Gon became alert again. "Obi-Wan? Where are we going? What about the meetings?"

"They are still going on. Without us. I've taken care of things, Master. You need rest. And don't tell me that you're not tired."

The transport ride was short and within minutes they were walking into their suite. This had become their home for the duration of this mission. The duration of this tediously long, seemingly endless mission. Obi-Wan lead the older Jedi into the main room and pushed him onto the couch where Qui-Gon fell face first into the soft cushions. He mumbled something to his student.

"Ut uout the eetings, Owi-an?"

"I told the Governor that you were ill, Master."

"U ied ooo em."

"Yes, I lied. I couldn't possibly tell them the truth, could I? That you were bored beyond capacity to stay awake? Bored by the relentless talking and talking and talking and…not getting anywhere. Honestly I think they were further along with these battles before we got here. So, you are sick. And if you don't want to be sick, then humor me."

Qui-Gon rolled over on the couch, until he was lying on his back, eyes closed. Deep breath. "I'm not sick. We should go back to the meetings." A weak attempt to get up, and Obi-Wan pushed him back down.

"No, we shouldn't. You need rest, Master. And you need to pretend that you're sick. Governor Palto is already suspicious. He knows you weren't ill yesterday."

"Obi-Wan…"

"They'll just have to deal with our absence and understand, Master. Surely they can't expect us to be there every moment of every word. We are human. Not machines. We get sick. We get bored…out of our minds."

"And evidently, we lie."

"Master, you have lied on occasion. And I only did it to save face for us. Should I comm Governor Palto and tell him that you were not ill? That you were bored out of your skull instead?"

A moment of thought, Qui-Gon pursed his lips together. "Ah, no. That would not be wise, Obi-Wan. Can you help me get these boots off? I think they're stuck to my feet, I've been in them so long. Maybe we can attend tomorrow's meetings barefoot." He cracked a smile as the boots slid from his tired feet. "Thank you."

"What about tomorrow, Master? Should I tell them we won't be at the meetings?"

"No, we can't do that. No more sick days. It doesn't help things. And it just extends the mission by another day each time."

"At this point, does a day really make a difference?"

"No, but…" the master stretched his long frame to the ends of the couch and sighed. "…it'll be over eventually, Obi-Wan. You must be…" An extended yawn interrupted his sentence. "Patient."

"If you say so, Master. Is that what you were doing today? Being patient?"

"No, this has gone far beyond patience, Padawan."

"Do you think this will this ever end?"

"Logic says yes. But then I hear Palto and Surratto and all of the others begin their babbling again and logic goes out the window. I think we might be here for the rest of our lives."

Obi-Wan plopped himself onto a nearby chair. "Please don't say that, Master. There has to be something we can do to speed things along. I don't think this planet is in danger of becoming too unstable as Master Windu believes, it would take them fifteen years to decide if they actually wanted to be unstable. Perhaps we should talk to Master Yoda again."

"Let me sleep on it. I can't sleep soundly with visions of that little troll in my head. I'll end up dreaming backwards and lecturing myself in my sleep. You're free to do whatever you wish for the rest of the day, Obi-Wan. I am going to lay right here and never move again."

"Until tomorrow morning."

Qui-Gon sighed deeply. "Don't remind me. Just let me sleep."

"I'd better find the local channel that broadcasts the meetings. I promised the Governor that I would keep and eye on how things were proceeding."

"Good, that'll put me to sleep quickly."

"I'll turn the volume up loud to you can feel like you're right there in the middle of things."

"If we ever get off this planet, and I ever wake up and realize what's been going on, I think you'll be in for a very long lecture, my Padawan."

"At the rate things are going here, Master, that won't happen for a long, long time."

Finding the correct channel, Obi-Wan cranked up the volume and slumped into his chair again. It wasn't long until both Jedi were deep asleep and snoring loudly.

* * *

…**the end…of this chapter…**


	8. Day Seventy-Nine: I Can See Clearly Now

**The Mission Series**

**Day Seventy-Nine: I Can See Clearly Now**

* * *

"Master, I got it. I've got it figured out. I can see it clearly now. It's all right there in perfect clarity."

Qui-Gon pulled his large frame from his bed to glare at the far-to-bright-this-early-in-the-morning face of his apprentice. "Obi-Wan, we are two and a half months into this ridiculous mission with no end in sight. Why are you waking me at this hour on our only off day this week?"

"Because I have it, Master. How we can end this mission! Our surefire way to get back to the adventure of being a Jedi rather than than the nonsense that we're in now."

The windowed-sun shone onto the master Jedi's face as he moved his legs around to sit.

"Hurry, Master!"

The young Jedi grabbed Qui-Gon's arm and pulled until the big man forced himself upright and out the bedroom door. There he saw packed bags and transport tickets.

"Obi-Wan, what is this?"

"Our way out, Master."

"We are leaving?"

"Yes. It's how we end the mission. Just leave. It's so simple and has been right in front of us the entire time. In fact, we are fools for not seeing it before. Come, the transport leaves in an hour."

Qui-Gon cleared his throat, ran a hair through his pillow-strewn hair and sat heavily on the arm of the couch. "We cannot leave, Obi-Wan."

"We can and we should."

"We cannot and we will not."

"Master, this place is nuts. The warring idiotic parties who can't even decide on lunch. The insane love-starved wife of the Governor who can't as much walk past you without falling into a heaping mess of goo."

"Goo?"

"Goo. And not even to mention the non-human-friendly food that tries to kill us with dehydration and random incinerating heat waves that could disintegrate a starship. Oh, and the four-thousand-year-old hunchbacked doctor who whacks you with his cane when you call him Dr. Mayo rather than Dr. May-O. Need I go on? The only savior of this disaster of a mission has been Maltos the Governor's aid and the beauty of the planet itself."

Qui-Gon stared at the bags again. Tempted. Oh so tempting. "So, yes, Obi-Wan, all those things are true. And that goo woman, she is rather drooly. Not to mention married to one of the battling parties. And truly, I have no desire to be anyone's sexy beast."

"See? Told you. Even you see it. I can see it too. Clearly. Let's go now before she randomly stops by to stare at you and leave puddles of yuck outside the door. You know she does that on our days off. Last time, she brought three other ladies with her. I had to peel them off of me to keep them from getting inside our quarters. The whole sexy beast thing, it was funny, then it was disturbing. You…Master. Gah, ick! No."

Cocking his head to the side, Qui-Gon gave a questioning look. "I am not that bad, Obi-Wan. I do have redeeming qualities and handsome physical features."

Raised eyebrows and Obi-Wan pulled at his travel bag. "Nope. Not going there, Master. Let's go please. I need to get away from here. If I puke up one more meal, my insides will spontaneously combust."

"Sorry, Padawan. Our job is to stay until a peace can be reached or until we are asked to leave. You may as well unpack. Your clear path to freedom is filled with rules presented to us by the Jedi Council."

Obi-Wan's shoulders slumped and he plopped himself onto the couch, defeated.

His master offered a supporting arm and pat on the back. "I appreciate your attempt, Obi-Wan, but fail we will not."

"You sound like Yoda, Master, don't do that."

"I shall do what I must, Obi-Wan." The Jedi stood and headed toward the bathroom to fix himself for the day. As he entered, the door chime rang and he immediately let out a "Craaap."

The boy on the couch perked up, knowing Qui-Gon hadn't intended for that thought to be verbal.

"Not as calm, cool and collected as you like to think you are, right, Master?" Obi-Wan smirked and then was on the receiving end of a not-to-pleased glare. "Sorry, Master. But you know who that is at the door. And I can only fend her off for so long and even that depends on how many others may have followed in her wake."

The door chime sounded again and voices began rising on the other side. Female. Loud. Drooly. Obi-Wan decided to take pity on his teacher.

"Lock yourself in the bathroom, Master. I will make an excuse for you. I will defend your honor again.

"Obi-Wan."

"No, no, don't thank me. I willingly lay my life on the line for my teacher every day. Today is no exception."

The bathroom door shut and locked as Qui-Gon's voice boomed from inside. "You think far too highly of yourself, Padawan. Just wait until you open that door."

Raising his head in a 'huh?' thought just as he opened the suite's door, the boy frowned just as the ladies…the young ladies…(the girls?) moved in to gang tackle him. Qui-Gon had sensed that it wasn't the Governor's wife outside the door. It was the daughter…and her friends.

"Oh craaaap," Obi-Wan muffled out as he was pushed to the floor while blue, gray, brown and pink (pink?) hands began to roam his tunics. "Uh, Master, a little help please?"

"No can do, Obi-Wan," came the mocking voice on the opposite side of the secured bathroom door. "You lay your life on the line for your master every day. Consider this as taking one for the team, Padawan. You see things more clearly now, don't you?"

"I...Ladies, please." Obi-Wan struggled to get up, finally pushing them away with a little assistance from the Force, though his bearings were not solid and he struggled for control. The inched closer. With one hand he pushed them, the other hand moved to keep his robe from flying off his body and into their greedy little hands. They then broke through he Force hold. "No, no, no no. Please, ladies, that is not where your hands should be, please no, no, no, no..."

He was ultimately saved as they ogled and groped at their young Jedi prey, by a familiar voice just entering from the hall. The exceedingly slim, extremely tall, very blue form of Maltos, the Governor's aid. "Excuse me, ladies," he said forcefully. "Your presence is being requested at the Hall. You are late for studies. Go now. All of you."

Unhappy grunts of disappointment followed as the group fled the suite. In the mean time, Obi-Wan had fallen over onto his back, flat out on the floor. "Maltos, thank the Force, I owe you. Anything you wish, just name it."

"I require no reward. The young ladies of Galos, bright and intelligent they are, but they are indeed…"

"Nuts." Came the quick response, as the apprentice picked himself up.

"Well…"

"It's okay, Maltos. I get it."

"They are…challenging."

"Yes, oh and, MASTER YOU CAN COME OUT NOW! Stop hiding in the bathroom."

"I am not hiding, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon responded as he crept carefully from the room, eyes darting around to make sure it was safe. "I was simply grooming myself to be presentable for the day."

Noting the tame hair, "You left me out here, alone with a herd of teenage girls who pounced on me like I was their quarry."

"Perhaps, you are _their_ Sexy Beast, Padawan."

"I am not a sexy anything, Master."

"Then you will not laugh hysterically when that insane…excuse me, when the lovely Ms. Palto finds me next time. Maltos. It is good to see you. My apprentice appreciates the timing." The Master Jedi and the blue creature exchanged friendly bows.

"_Lovely_ woman, Master? Lies?"

"More like stretched truths."

"They are stretched something all right. Are you certain you do not want to opt for my clear way out of this mess?"

"I am certain. We can do this, Obi-Wan. We are strong and quick and intelligent. We are Jedi. We are highly trained negotiators with lightsabers, damn it."

"The 'damn it' was a nice touch. So, you are saying we should negotiate with sabers?"

"No, I am not."

Maltos interrupted. "Ambassadors, if I may. I offer this as a possible solution. Present the Governor and Mayor with a deadline. In the past, it has assisted in other Jedi ambassadors in creating at least a piece of cooperation. Enough for them to find a time they could depart the planet."

The Jedi responded in surprised unison. "Other Jedi?!"

A nod from the blue creature. "Yes. And I see. You were not advised then. Each of the last five years, a Jedi ambassador has been dispatched here to Galos to assist with talks. Each year they leave unable to achieve a conclusive end."

"See Master," Obi-Wan nudged Qui-Gon in the arm, "I told you we should just leave. My clear path out of here is pretty damn clear now, isn't it?"

"Obi-Wan."

"Sorry."

"Maltos, what was the longest any Jedi maintained a presence here on Galos during negotiations."

"Six months."

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no and hell no, Master! I can't do that. I can't stay here. It's weird and hot and the women are drooling-crazy people and the politicians are morons and…"

Qui-Gon reached over and whapped his apprentice on the head. "What is wrong with you?"

"Master, please. Do you wish to stay here for six months? You've had horrible things coming out both ends of you since you got here. As have I. Please, for the love of my colon, we need to end this. My path…it was so simple…so clear. We just take a few steps out the door to freedom."

The master only shook his head at the boy and turned back to Maltos. "This deadline, should we make it sooner or later?"

"I recommend one month."

"Master, please…." Obi-Wan's whining was overruled by a Force push, sending him flying toward the couch where he was stuck as Qui-Gon refused to release him. "Yes, all right. I deserved that."

"Very well." Qui-Gon took the paper and the writing utensil that the aide offered, scribbled a date on it along with a signature and handed it back. "One month. Thank you, Maltos."

"Good day to you both, Ambassadors." He left the apartment as Obi-Wan was released from his stalled position on the couch.

"Master, what happens at the end of that month when no progress has been made?"

"I do not know, Obi-Wan."

"Then why did you agree to this?"

"I have no idea. I am desperate apparently."

The boy sat down on the couch. Voluntarily this time. Perplexed. Confused. "So…um…what now?"

"We wait."

"For a month?"

"Yes?"

"Master, just admit it, you're as confused as I am, aren't you?"

"I am, Obi-Wan."

"We can still sneak out the back. Bags are still packed."

"No, we will grant the month and see what happens. However, should the time come, I will not be so quick to dismiss your clear path to salvation. And I do plan to speak with Yoda as to why we were not advised of previous attempts by other Jedi to find a solution here on Galos. Suspicious that the Council did not speak of this."

"Not suspicious, Master. Just a game. They like punishing us for..."

Qui-Gon held a hand up, "Do not say 'for my disobedience to the Council'."

A shrug from the boy. "Master, you and the Council have a very irregular relationship. In a way, it's kind of like what the food here does to our insides."

"Disgusting, Obi-Wan, and thank you for that visual. However, one day you will understand. Come now, we do have the day off, I believe we should spend it away from this place and perhaps away from this entire city."

"Master, you do know the minute you walk out that door…"

They walked out.

"There he is! My Sexy Jinn of a Beast! Oh, my my. Come to Yaddella darling!"

Qui-Gon pushed his apprentice into a full speed run. "Go, Obi-Wan, now. Run, run, run, run."

"But, Master, she's gaining on us. She's really fast for being so short, stumpy and round."

"Must go faster, Padawan. Must go much faster."

They were completely out of breath by the time they got outside and Force-leaped into the roof of a departing inter-city transport, leaving Yaddella Palto behind, finally.

"Master, I see...I see it clearly...now." Obi-Wan said, struggling to catch breath.

"What's that, Padawan?"

"The path...to our insanity."

"It's here, on the roof of this transport, isn't it?"

"Yes, Master. This is what we've been reduced to. Hiding from a crazy woman by leaping onto a moving transport in the middle of a beautiful day. On our day off, by the way."

"You wanted adventure, Obi-Wan."

* * *

END...of this chapter...


End file.
